When I was younger I wish I had known……

what intelligent disobedience really means. I don’t think I thought about it much or understood that there are times when you should or must be disobedient. Even if someone who is older, respected, or loved asks you to do something that you know in your heart and soul is not the right thing for you, you should follow your heart and choose disobedience.

When I first started raising and pre-training guide dogs I heard intelligent disobedience discussed as it pertains to dogs. To be a good guide dog for a person with vision impairment the dog at times must make their own decisions about whether to follow the commands of their handler.

Most of the time they are trained to be very obedient and follow the commands that they have been taught in order to keep their person safe. But there will be times that they must use their own senses, intelligence, to determine if what they are being asked to do is really safe or the wisest choice for both them and their person. The blind person must also learn to trust the dog.

In one of the training workshops I attended a lead trainer talked about how the dogs are trained for traffic situations. I remember him saying that the bottom line is the dog is really looking out for themselves, a self preservation of not wanting to be hit by a car or anything else that is coming towards them that may injury or hurt them.

I’m sure there are many stories, and I’ve heard a few, where the dog is credited with saving their owner’s life out of loyalty and love rather than self preservation.  This may or may not be, I like to think that the dog is intelligent and can think for themselves to avoid anything that would also be a wrong decision for them personally.

One cute story I know of is a dog that was raised by a friend of mine and my friend was lucky to have a close relationship with the dog’s new person after his training was completed. My friend was visiting with the new owner and they went out to dinner together in a restaurant that the dog and owner frequently went to.

On this occasion the restaurant was very busy and when Ken, the blind owner, needed to go to the bathroom he walked with Oak, the dog, thinking they would navigate in the direction they usually went when going to the rest room. But because the normal route was blocked by a large loud party of customers Oak decided on his own to take a different route that let led them through the kitchen area and to the bathroom. Ken was aware that they were going a different route but he trusted Oak and they made it to the bathroom and back with no issues.

My friend said that it was amazing and funny to watch as Oak led Ken in and then out of the restaurant kitchen. I’m not sure that Oak did this necessarily to keep either himself or Ken safe but it just made sense to Oak.

In my own life I can recognized times when I have used my intelligence to say no or avoid a situation that wasn’t in my best interest. I don’t think I was always aware that I was even doing this or why, but something inside me made me realize that it didn’t feel right for me.

There are other times that I didn’t use my intelligence or listen to my inner voice telling me to say no or avoid. Now looking back on those times I wish that I had.

 I remember times that I went along with others, sometimes friends or people I was trying to fit in with or impress, but it felt wrong. There were times I was part of a mean group that made fun of or teased other people. Also times that I went along with a lie that was told, sometimes I even was the liar.

 In every situation that I can think of I always had that inner feeling of it not being the right decision but I didn’t listen to myself. I wish I had. I wish someone had talked to me about what it would feel like to know that I hurt someone else and made them feel small and alone. Or that I would hurt my own self worth and have that same alone and hurt feeling inside of me.

My wish for you is that you can recognize when your inner voice, or intelligence, is telling you to say no. to avoid a situation or maybe avoid a person who is making bad decisions. I’m sure you will make mistakes and not always listen to yourself but hopefully you will also learn from your mistakes and listen the next time.

It’s ok to say no to a person even if they are older, an adult, a friend, someone who you love or says they love you, if what they are asking you to do or say doesn’t feel right for who you are and want to be.  We all have an inner voice that is our very own, and is intelligent. Our own voice can help to lead us in the right direction for us personally.

 Be like Oak and don’t always think you have to take the shortest or normal path. It may be the easiest, and the path others have told you to use, but if it doesn’t look or feel right to you go your own way and be disobedient.

Written 5/18/18

 

Post script: The picture is of Zorro who was the last dog I raised for a guide dog school. He was one of the most challenging dogs I have raised, always showing that he was intelligent but also could be very disobedient. I’m not sure the intelligence and disobedience always went together but he taught me a lot. In the end the decision was made that he was better suited for a different career of being an explosive detection dog and is now working in NYC. Just as people can’t be molded into something someone else decides for them, a dog also should be allowed to choose their own path in life.