Your Great Great Granddad Livingston                                  

Since I’ve written about my Grandma Livingston I felt I should write more about Granddad too.  I had a different relationship with him since they were different people but I was still very close to him.

Granddad was one of six children and he had a much harder childhood than Grandma did. His father repaired jewelry, watches and also did other jobs like shoe repair. I also remember hearing that Granddad’s father was a heavy drinker and I believe he died while Granddad was quite young. His mother was a large imposing looking woman from pictures I have seen.

Granddad had to drop out of school in the sixth or seventh grade because he needed to work to help the family financially, I assume after the death of his father. He was always embarrassed about not having graduated and didn’t like to talk about it. He did talk about learning poems that he had to recite in front of the class at his one room school house. Two that he taught me were “Jabberwocky”, by Lewis Carroll and “A Barefoot Boy with Shoes On”, unknown author. I recently looked both of poems up and they aren’t simple ones to learn or to recite. I’m not sure if the poems were assigned by the teacher or if Granddad got to choose his own poems, but both are very nonsensical.

When I was in high school I participated in a variety show and did a skit of a shy young girl reciting a poem and I used “A Barefoot Boy with Shoes on”. Granddad and Grandma were in the audience and I even impressed my high school English teacher since I was that shy young girl and he couldn’t believe that I would even be on stage. Since I got to “play” a part and I knew Granddad and Grandma were watching I was able to do it.

Granddad was very meticulous with his appearance. I think he would have been considered vane. He always had a full thick head of hair. I remember him washing his hair and combing it at the mirror that hung in the kitchen. He was proud of his hair and always cared how he looked. He taught me how to clean and clip my own finger nails since he got upset that my hands and nails were often dirty from playing outside. He bought me a manicure set that had many interesting tools in it and I had it for many years.  I didn’t always use the tools for cleaning my nails; they came in handy for a lot of other things too.

Granddad was a die cutter in a box factory by the time I knew him but he had many many jobs before that. I know that he was a taxi driver and had a chauffeur license which he renewed for most of his life. He also worked in a mica factory and as a farm hand when he was younger.

Grandma told me a story that once they were invited to a family reunion when Granddad was only working on a farm and they couldn’t afford to bring a fancy dish to pass. So the farmer gave Granddad a watermelon to take to the picnic. Granddad was very upset, and felt insulted, that no one ate or even cut the watermelon at the picnic.

Granddad always said that he was related to the wealthy Livingston family that owned property along the Hudson River and he was related to Robert Livingston who signed the Declaration of Independence. Granddad said that his branch of the family was disowned because someone had married an American Indian woman.

I have never found proof of that although I did see an old picture of the Hudson Valley Livingston’s and there was woman that could’ve been my mother in the picture and many of the men looked like Granddad. Your Great Grandma Gowan supposedly did some research on this and said she found that a Livingston male had had an affair with a chamber maid and was disinherited by the family. I like the Indian story much better so am sticking with that version.

Of Granddad’s siblings he was closest to his brother Ike. Granddad’s given name was Warren but he went by the name Mike because he and his brother were known as Mike and Ike. 

After Granddad retired he and your Uncle Mike drove all the way to California to visit Ike. I know that visit meant a lot to Granddad.

Cars and tools were also important to Granddad and he always took great care with all of them. His car was always clean and he cleaned all his tools after using them and had very specific places where they were kept. He didn’t like anyone else using his tools. He would paint the handles of his tools with what we called Granddad green which looks a lot like John Deer green that you guys like.

He liked to drive fast and Grandma said that she always kept her foot on the brake, which meant that she pushed her foot to the floor when his driving scared her.  He finally gave up driving after he was stopped for going 80 in a 45 mile zone. I was an adult by that time. I’m not sure if he gave up willingly or his license was taken from him.

He would ride a bike or walk around their village and always was on the lookout for screws, nuts, bolts and any small metal thing he felt there might be a use for. He would bring them home and put them away in jars that he kept with his tools. He had a large collection of various things he had found. He would also bring home larger items like hub caps, license plates or anything that had been tossed out that he thought could be used.

He was very creative and would make things out of junk. I remember a stool he made out of the agitator of a washing machine and put a seat on the top. He did his own carpentry around their home and at times would help neighbors with projects.

He had such a large collection of old license plates and he donated many to an antique car museum in Norwich, NY. Many were also hung on the walls of his barn. I loved looking in the barn with all his tools and gadgets that he kept. He had many of the old tools from his father’s jewelry and shoe repair days. It was like a mini museum to me.

He was a tall man, about 6’ 4”, not a large man, but strong. I remember he would let us hang from his fore arm and swing us back and forth. We also would step on top of his feet and he would march us around.

He was a self taught musician, playing the harmonica, ukulele, mandolin plus other instruments. I don’t remember him singing much though. I’m pretty sure he and grandma met at a dance where he was playing in a small band. He was also friends with her older brother.

Grandma Joyce had told me that times were often tough when growing up because Granddad would change jobs often, either because the boss upset him or he felt ill. Granddad was a bit of a hypochondriac. He often felt ill and frequently no cause could be found. As a consequence he either lost jobs or quit. I do remember him laying on his day bed and saying his stomach hurt, his head hurt or all of the above. He also had chronic back and leg pain.

As I got older I realized that Granddad suffered from depression. He did have some treatment for depression, but the medication prescribed caused him to be too drossy and he didn’t like taking it. The doctors also suggested electric shock treatments but he said no to that.

I think back now how hard that must’ve been on Grandma, he could go between being very demanding and authoritarian and then being too ill to get out of bed. From what I have pieced together he suffered from bouts of depression his whole life. He also had a younger sister who was institutionalized for mental illness as a young adult.

Near the end of his life his depression caused him to not want to eat and he basically starved himself. When he was in a nursing home he refused forced feeding, he was very mentally alert, but would refuse to eat what was offered him. 

One of his favorite things to eat was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and I remember that there was always one sitting next to his bed at the nursing home. Grandma was also at the same nursing home and would be wheeled into his room to sit and would eat the sandwich left for him. It took the nursing home staff awhile to realize that Granddad hadn’t eaten the sandwich. Grandma Joyce respected his wishes to not be forced fed.

Grandma and he went to the nursing home within days of each other. Grandma due to congested heart failure and Granddad due to overall weakness. Grandma died first after just a few months after they had arrived and Granddad 3 days later.  Grandma Joyce said that it was an unselfish act Granddad did by waiting for Grandma to go first.

Together Grandma and Granddad showed me what love could be, even with a lot of struggles and adversity. My relationship with Granddad was never as close as mine with Grandma but he was important to me and I loved him for who he was.

written 1/20/18